Posts Tagged ‘ted cruz’

Ester wishes

Hi there.

My name is Ted. Ted Cruz. I am, actually I was a candidate in the race for the Republican Party nomination. Right now I am a piece of shit. I did whatever was legal and illegal to win this nomination, but looks like the people don’t want me.

And this is not a problem, because I don’t care if they want me. What I want is to be President, with or without their votes. But when I saw that they fucked me good, (oh how sore is my ass right now!) I tried to get the delegates by bribing them. Even so, I am behind that fucking Donald Duck and this is killing me…slowly.

I tried to bring that polish mother fucker on my side, but Kasich is an idiot who thinks he can bribes more delegates than me. Anyway, when I saw that even the polish sausage fucked my ass, I asked my team what to do. They told me „jump on Fiorina” „OK, I said, but that bitch sucks dick better than me and she tried to fucked me good”. Anyway, considering the fact that she has a lot of money and she is, as I said, a bitch, I agreed and I called her in. I know, she described me the way I am, a piece of shit, but I want to be President and to get that, I will eat all the Romanian shit, only to be in the Oval Office.

So now we’ve got to the the most important point, the reason why I am talking to you. Please, but i mean PLEASE, vote for me, Romanians! I know, you are not Americans, but don’t worry, even I am a fucking Canadian. I am going to send you papers to prove that your mothers are Americans.So all you have to do is to vote for me.

You are my last chance. If you do that and I am going to be the President, I will empty Romania, I will bring all of you to America. I will give you millions of dollars, houses right on the Pacific shore, cars and I will declare your football, American national sport. I will replace the American National Anthem with one popular „manea” of Minune.     So help me God!

Don’t forget, my name is Ted Cruz, not Donald Trump.

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